A Belated Father's Day Tribute

Daddy the jungle gym

So...I am a little behind on getting this posted, but our computer got a virus after trying to use internet in a hotel last weekend!  We got it all taken care of so now we are up and running!  I just wanted to share a little bit about the "fathers" in my life-the father of my children-my hubby Mickey, my father-Rick Evans, and my father in law-Fritz Kinzenbaw.



Loving on his little girl




Top 5 Reasons my hubby is an amazing father:
1.  He loves to teach our kids things and wants to give them great experiences.  Evan knows so much already because of daddy! (at 18 months, Evan could name and point to about 25 states on a map!)
2.  He is an excellent disciplinarian-he expects our children to listen and obey and enforces rules.  He does this out of tremendous love and hope for them. 
3.  He changes diapers, potty trains, makes baby food, cleans up puke and spit up, puts car seats in cars, adjusts the crib, puts batteries in toys, and a million other little things that help me out so much!
4.  He is awesome at the "physical" side of raising a boy-wrestling with Evan, taking him on hikes, running around the house with him, teaching him how to play sports,etc- while at the same time being awesome at the "emotional" side as well- reading to him, carrying him when he is tired, caring for him when he is sick, etc.
5.  He is a godly man who so badly wants our children to know God and live a passionate, servanthood life for Him.  He doesn't want to just tell his children to do it, he wants to do it and lead by example.  He knows that the best thing he can do for them is to know God, love Him, and serve Him. 
I love him so much and my kids couldn't have a better daddy!   

Taking Evan canoeing

Top 5 Reasons my dad is an amazing father:

1.  He would drive all over the place (such as the northern tip of Minnesota and the middle of nowhere in Nebraska) to see me play basketball.

2.  He took his family to church every Sunday, prayed for us and with us, led us in devotions, and tried his best to set a godly example.  (he still does this!)

3.  He loves ice cream and passed on that love to me and he loves a good chick flick and will watch with me. and my mom :) 

4.  During a time of great disappointment for him when he had to pick me up from a high school football game because I had been drinking, he still forgave me, loved me, and gave me the grace I needed, but most definitely did not deserve.

5.  He cared enough about me to scrutinize every guy I ever dated (at the time I found it annoying), but now I know exactly why he did it and I am so grateful.

And a quick shout-out to my father in law-he is an amazing father because he is extremely generous (I have never known someone to be so giving and selfless) and he raised a wonderful son by teaching him loyalty and the importance of family.  I am blessed to have in as my father in law! 



Fritz and his daughter Cari





Holding on to those Precious Lasts

After almost 2 and a half years of changing Evan's diaper, you would think I would be the happiest mom around to be potty training my child.  I am happy to be getting him out of diapers, but it is also making me feel kind of sad that a huge chapter of his life will now be over.  It seemed like it took forever to get pregnant with him and now that I have him, time is just flying by.  God has definitely blessed me with an amazing child...here is some info about my lil man! 

-He is obsessed with Cars movie (and I mean obsessed!)  it doesn't help that mommy and grandparents are feeding the addiction :) We plan on taking him to the big screen in a few weeks when Cars 2 comes out!

-He is extremely smart and an exceptional talker-I forget that he is only 2 most of the time because of his extensive vocab and conversational skills.  I pray everyday that God will use his smarts for His glory! 



-He loves to read!  And mommy loves that...we spend about 20 minutes before nap and bedtime reading stories and at several other moments during the day...He is currently into Curious George books, Cars books, If You Gave a Pig a Pancake series, and Dr. Seuss books.  Usually what will happen is he will pick one book for the week and we will have to read it 100 times and he ends up memorizing it. We don't even have to read all the lines! 

-Poor kid still has eczema and food allergies to peanuts, eggs, and fish.  We have now been told he most likely has seasonal allergies and asthma now too after having a cough and runny nose for the past couple months.  He has a nebulizer that we do as needed and we give him Zyrtec daily for the allergies.  We are working on doing allergy drops to desensitize him to the food allergies.  I hope it works because I would love for him not to have to worry about that all his life! 

-He has a huge tender heart.  Before I go anywhere, he has to give me hugs, kisses and snuggle-buggles. :)  If his little sister Alea is crying, he brings her a million toys and does whatever he can to help her be happy. 
-He is slowly transitioning from being a mommy's boy to a daddy's boy, he loves running and wrestling with daddy.
-He loves cereal (Apple Jacks, Trix, Fruit Loops, Cheerios), yogurt, applesauce, crackers, Oreos, and fruit snacks!
-The kid can argue and whine with the best of them, but after being disciplined, he changes his behavior...
-He is very cautious as the firstborn, usually wants mom to check things out or watches other do things first  before he decides if it is ok...
I could go on and on, if you can't tell, I am completely smitten with him and I love being his mommy.  As I look forward to all that we will get to do together in the future, I will hold on to these precious lasts and savor them.  There is a fabulous book by my favorite author Karen Kingsbury called "Let me Hold You Longer" that inspired this post, I cry everytime I read it.  The poem from the book is below:
Long ago you came to me,
a miracle of firsts,
First smiles and teeth and baby steps,
a sunbeam on the burst.
But one day you will move away
and leave to me your past
And I will be left thinking of
a lifetime of your lasts…
The last time that I held a bottle
to your baby lips
The last time that I lifted you
and held you on my hip.
The last night when you woke up crying,
needing to be walked,
When last you crawled up with your blanket,
wanting to be rocked.

The last time when you ran to me,
still small enough to hold.
The last time that you said you’d marry
me when you grew old.

Precious, simple moments and
bright flashes from your past-
Would I have held on longer if
I’d known they were your last?
Our last adventure to the park,
your final midday nap,
The last time when you wore your favorite
faded baseball cap.
Your last few hours of kindergarten,
those last few days of first grade,
Your last at bat in Little League,
last colored picture made.
I never said good-bye to all
your yesterdays long passed.
So what about tomorrow-
will I recognize your lasts?
The last time that you catch a frog
in that old backyard pond.
The last time that you run barefoot
across our fresh-cut lawn.
Silly, scattered images
will represent your past.
I keep on taking pictures,
never quite sure of your lasts…
The last time that I comb your hair
or stop a pillow fight.
The last time that I pray with you
and tuck you in at night.
The last time when we cuddle
with a book, just me and you
The last time you jump in our bed
and sleep between us two.
The last piano lesson,
last vacation to the lake.
Your last few weeks of middle school,
last soccer goal you make.
I look ahead and dream of days
that haven’t come to pass.
But as I do, I sometimes miss
today’s sweet, precious lasts…
The last time that I help you with
a math or spelling test.
The last time when I shout that yes,
your room is still a mess.
The last time that you need me for
a ride from here to there.
The last time that you spend the night
with your old tattered bear.
My life keeps moving faster,
stealing precious days that pass,
I want to hold on longer-
want to recognize your lasts…
The last time that you need my help
with details of a dance.
The last time that you ask me for
advice about romance.

The last time that you talk to me
about your hopes and dreams.
The last time that you wear a jersey
for your high school team.

I’ve watched you grow and barely noticed
seasons as they pass.
If I could freeze the hands of time,
I’d hold on to your lasts.

For come some bright fall morning,
you’ll be going far away.
College life will beckon
in a brilliant sort of way.

One last hug, one last good-bye,
one quick and hurried kiss.
One last time to understand
just how much you’ll be missed.





I’ll watch you leave and think how fast
our time together passed.
Let me hold on longer, God,
to every precious last.







How Could I Not Love Being A Mommy?

I had a fabulous mother's day with my two precious children.  My kids were so excited it was Mother's day, my daughter woke me up at 5:15 am and my son was up at 6.  :)   We enjoyed a picnic lunch at the park and an ice cream outing at night!  I am so honored and blessed to be their mommy and I thank God for them everyday! 

A Big Change is Coming

I apologize for not blogging for quite some time, but to put it plainly, there is just not enough time in the day to do the things I NEED to do, let alone do the things I WANT to do...  Hence, the big change!  May 26th will be my last day of teaching-not just for the summer-but for a few years at least! After a lot of prayer and soul searching-we are hoping this change will move our life in the direction God wants it to go.

It's interesting because if anyone asked me five years ago if I would stay home when I had kids, I would have said NO, I am a teacher, it is a great job for having kids, you get the summers off, you are home at 4:00, you get holidays off, etc.  My husband is even home 3 or 4 days a week to take care of the kids and we only need daycare 1 or 2 days!  But 4 years later (and adding my beautiful daughter Alea with my rambunctious two year old son Evan), it all looks good on paper but is working out horribly in real life.  I have always been a person to put everything into whatever I am doing...but all I have felt lately is failure.  I have not been the wife, mom, daughter, sister, friend, teacher, or person I know God wants me to be.  I know some women are capable to do it all-I see it in the lives of many women I work with-and I admire them for it.  Staying at home is not an option for everyone, nor is it the right thing for everyone.  But for me, it is not only the right thing, it is necessary!  You see, I have to go to my job and work hard at it or I will be fired, I have to feed my young kids and care for them, I have to do laundry, grocery shop, and clean, but I don't HAVE to work on my relationship with my husband.  He can fend for himself and I have no energy left for him.  Our marriage has taken a downward spiral and I can't allow it any longer.  I love him too much and I want to honor him as my husband and serve him as his wife.  I know that me staying at home is not going to magically fix our marriage, but I know in my heart of hearts, it will give us the time we need to nurture our relationship.  That's what life is about anyways, isn't it?  RELATIONSHIPS!  God calls us to love each other deeply, to love others more than ourselves.  I am hoping to work on this during my time at home with my husband and everyone around me.  I also know I haven't been working on my relationship with God either, because just like my husband, I thought He doesn't need me.  But God does need me!  There is a big world out there with people who are hurting and who need to hear the gospel, and as a believer in Jesus Christ, I am needed to spread His love and his message.  I am excited to start seizing more opportunities to serve Him. 

So...I will be much more regular in posting pretty soon (17 more days), because I am excited to be around to document all that I am learning, how my relationship with my hubby and God are doing, and all the wonderful things my beautiful kids are up to!  (Oh and these pictures are from Easter Sunday!)

Missions Trip to New Orleans-The Accident

Crash!  Metal twisting! Screams!  Sirens! Not really the sounds I wanted to hear on our missions trip to New Orleans, but unfortunately, on our first day down there, we were involved in a car accident.  The trip started out wonderful as we left Iowa to make the 16 hour trek...we were so excited to be going on a missions trip as a family, to do some work for the Lord, to see how He would work in our lives for the week and to see what Urban Impact ministries was all about.  As we (accidentaly) coasted through a red light in a not so nice part of New Orleans, and hit a cab in the driver's side door, all these nice little thoughts went out the window.  I couldn't believe it.  I was sitting in the way back of our van so I didn't even know whose fault it was or how it happened.  Evan was crying so I grabbed him out of his car seat and just sat and rocked him.  Alea was safe and sound in her car seat and didn't even make a peep!  All I could think was thank God my kids were okay.  As the police and ambulance arrived, I was still in shock that all this was going on, but it is weird, when you have kids, you can't show any sign of weakness or fear.  I didn't want them to see me upset, so I stayed calm.  The pastor from Castle Rock Church (the church we were working with) came and prayed for us.  That helped a ton! 
As I peered out of our van from the back, I could see my husband and how distraught he was. I figured out that it was his fault, and that the driver of the cab was having neck pain, and I knew Mickey would need me.  He would need me to love him and give him grace.  A couple of years ago, I probably would have flew off the handle-but God provided me with such peace.  I knew that for whatever reason, God allowed this to happen..  And I may not know this reason for a year, 10 years, or not until I see my Savior in heaven-all I can do now is learn from it and grow.  Here are the few key things I have learned:
1-God is good! Our van can be replaced-my kids and husband can't. 
2-My plans are not God's plans-just because I had in my mind what the week was going to look like-doesn't mean that is what God had in mind
3-God has used this event to remind me and Mickey that we are a team-life partners-and we need to support each other in every situation life throws us.

My next post will be about all the good that happened in New Orleans, but I wanted to explain and preface our trip by explaining how it started.  Thanks to many of you for all the prayers while we were down there-they were much appreciated! 

Our last night in NO-safe and sound!

In Loving Memory-My Gramps

My grandpa passed away a week ago...He was 91 years old, a WW2 veteran, a loving and caring husband, father, grandfather, and greatgrandfather, and a selfless, godly, man.  As much as I knew this day was coming and I know he lived a good, long life, it still hurts and I will miss him greatly.  I am posting below what I read at his funeral.  He wanted each of his grandchildren to say something because we were everything to him.
There is no perfect way of describing my grandpa or adequately explaining how much he means to me.  I am fortunate to be his only granddaughter and he always let me know how special I was by telling me I was his "favorite" granddaughter and I would reply I am your only granddaughter, the he would say I would still be his favorite!  :)  We were blessed growing up to be able to spend a lot of time with him.  As most of you know, his wife, Shirley, passed away at a young age.  28 years ago to be exact, and Grandpa really turned his attention on us.  My mom also got sick around this time and my grandpa was called upon to help out quite a bit.  That was the best thing about Gramps.  He was always willing to help and wanted to do everything he could for us.  If we ever needed a ride somewhere, we could call Gramps.  If we didn't want to eat what Mom made for dinner, he would make us something else (or take us to McDonalds).  If we wanted to go to the pool or the park, he would take us.  The list could go on and on.  He not only showed his love for us with his actions, but also with words.  He was constantly telling us how proud he was of us and how we were the "best" at everything, even when we weren't.  Besides loving us with actions and words, he loved us with gifts.  He loved Christmas time and birthdays so he could watch us open our presents.  One very special gift he gave to me was a blue stuffed bunny.  It may not sound like much, but usually he gave money to my mom and my mom would pick out the presents.  But one Christmas, he knew how much I loved bunnies and he went to the store and picked it out himself.  He was so proud to give it to me.  I still have it to this day.  Finally, he also loved us by spending quality time with us.  He would take us to the river to feed the ducks, and have us over for sleepovers (where I would have to watch MASH-dumb show), and would come to all our practices and games.  He was just always there, loving us as best he could. 
I could go on and on about what a great grandpa he was  but I want to end with the best gift he left behind.  That is he is a believer in Jesus Christ and is in heaven right now.  I know I will see him again in heaven and like my little brother said these are not just comforting words I am saying to myself to make myself feel better-it is really true!  My grandpa and I share the faith that Jesus came, lived, died for our sins, and rose again, and because he did this, we can have everlasting life.  This is the best give he could of given us and I look forward to our reunion in heaven.

Blessings

As I sit here tonight and think about how my daughter is 3 months old today, a lot goes through my mind.  I think about how the last three months have been tough and I have been more exhausted than I ever thought I could be.  I think about how crazy it is to have a 2 year old and a newborn.  I think about how I have felt sorry for myself that I am not getting enough sleep, enough time to relax, or enough "me" time. Don't get me wrong, I love being a mom, it is the greatest job/role/gift in the world, but it is tough!   Then I realize how selfish and horrible all my thought sounds... God has given me two beautiful children.  So many people can't have children or want to have children but haven't found the right person yet, or there are single men or woman out there that are raising children alone, and the list could go on, and I am having a pity party.  I have a wonderful husband who is an amazing father, and healthy, growing, children.  
When we were trying to have our first child, it took us a year, and that was a painful experience to go through, to have that hope each month, and be disappointed.  But God came through and it brought me closer to Him than ever before.  Then, right after our son turned 1 year old, we found out we were pregnant with our daughter.  This was a complete surprise and one that we weren't "planning" on and we were upset at first!  Yes, I will admit that...  We didn't feel like we were ready for another child and we couldn't understand what God was doing.  But 9 months of pregnancy and 3 months of having our precious baby girl, we know exactly what God was doing: blessing us!  I don't deserve my children, but God has blessed me with them anyways and I thank Him for it.  They continually stretch me to be a better person, to lean on God more, and to realize that my life isn't about me.  God didn't send his Son to BE SERVED, but TO SERVE.  And as a Christian, I am called to be like Jesus, which means to serve, and to serve with a glad heart.  Thank God for the last three months of Alea being added to our family.  I can't wait to see what God blesses us with next!  He is good!