My Heart

We went and saw the boys today...it has been about 2 weeks since we visited.  Why, you might ask?  Honestly, this process of adoption has and continues to be such a crazy, twisted, up and down, spin you around journey, I just couldn't bare to keep visiting them and feeling my heart love them more and more, when I didn't know for sure if they would end up being mine.  And I wish I could say today, that I know for sure and that's why we went and visited today, but I can't.  Not yet.  We are making some headway, but not enough to be sure.
As I woke up this morning though and knew we were headed to Lusaka today for some errands, I knew I couldn't drive by where they were without stopping to see them. And I am so glad we did.  Little E ran up to me and hugged me, and J noticed us and waved with a big smile on his face.  This coming from the boy who didn't smile one time during our first two visits there.   E wanted me to hold him most of the time and J played soccer with Mickey, Jeff (our friend who just moved here), and Evan.  The boy loves him some soccer.  I taught E how to say Evan and Alea's names.  Neither of them speak very much English at this point, lots of work to do there, but I know it will come quickly, especially being around my two talkative kiddos!
J had some tears towards the end when he could tell we were getting ready to leave.  This is the second time he has cried when we have left.  So, after he walked away, we talked to one of the house moms about how they were doing.  We were so happy and so sad to find out that they have been missing us, asking when we will come back, and when they can go with us.
 Oh, my heart.
We explained to the housemother that we are trying our best, but the process is so slow, and to please talk to the boys and help them understand.
Please continue to pray for these two boys and for us, as we both wait.  For the boys to feel our love and more importantly, Jesus' love for them and for us, as we work on God's timing being best, not our own.  Knowing ultimately, that He is our loving Father who works everything for our good.

Isaiah 40:31 "But they who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not grow weary, they shall walk and not faint. " 

Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."