Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Thankful Tuesday
1. Skype
2. Long, overdue conversation with my lil bro Nate on Skype
3. The AMAZING things about to happen in Nate's life
4. Pool time
5. Olympic trials
6. The best neighbors (and random hang out time with them!)
7. My hubby's Every Man A Warrior study
8. My son's hand movements when explaining something
9. Greek yogurt with granola
10. Flavored water
11. My church
12. How Alea wraps one arm around my neck like I'm her homie :)
13. Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal- I know I am 29 and I am not supposed to eat kiddie cereals anymore but I can't give theseup!
14. Karen Kingsbury books
15. Good deals on summer clothes for next year
16. Successful adoption stories
17. How the Word of God speaks to me and changes me like nothing else can
18. Hot summer days
19. Pinterest
20. Unexpected times when something is cheaper than what I thought it was going to be!
Hope you are thinking about all the little and big things you are grateful for this week. I am loving the challenge of making myself aware each day of all the ways God is blessing me...
Psalm 7:17
I will give to the Lord the thanks due to His righteousness, and I will sing praise to the name of the Lord! The Most High.
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Thankful Tuesday-"Camping Edition"
So.....I know I missed last Tuesday but I have a completely valid excuse, we were camping! And...the IPAD died and alas, we didn't have the charger. Now, don't worry, we still weren't exactly roughing it, we still had DirectTV... :) My kind of camping!
Anyways, I will get to my thankful list now and a post will come about our amazing RV trip. Below are the 20 things I am most thankful about our trip to GOD for:
1. The simple joy of kids playing in the sand and splashing in the waters of a lake.
2. Watching Evan masterfully climb rocks and seeing his love of hiking grow!
3. Playing bags with Mickey while the kids were sleeping in the RV (& winning I might add!)
4. The mini-break in our RV trip for Mick and I to go back to Ankeny (without kids) for our neighbors 10th anniversary party.
5. Running the trails along Coralville lake and the hills of Decorah (so different than running in Ankeny)
6. Air-conditiong in the RV during a major hot spell
7. Having DirectTV in the RV (we don't even have cable at home so it was a little treat and great to keep the kids happy while going down the road)
8. All the wonderful memories of family reunions flooding back while in Decorah
9. The kids screaming for "Whippy Dip" in the car over and over-my fave ice cream shop in Decorah
10. A playground set right outside our RV at our campground in WI
11. Time with the Kinzenbaw cousins and their lovely wives
12. My father in law for lending us the RV
13. Time spent canoeing and fishing at Devil's Lake
14. My husband who drove the RV the whole time since there was no way I was driving that huge thing!
15. Going to Bay St. Beach for 25 cent carnival rides!
16. Sleeping with Ev and waking up with him rubbing my head and saying, "Good morning!"
17. Watching Alea want to do everything Ev is doing and following him around and repeating everything he says.
18. Seeing deer out of our RV window in the mornings.
19. My kids having a love of nature.
20. Time, resources, and the means to go on an RV trip like this, memories have been made that will last a lifetime.
Psalm 105:1
Oh give thanks to the Lord; call upon his name; make his deeds known among the peoples!
Anyways, I will get to my thankful list now and a post will come about our amazing RV trip. Below are the 20 things I am most thankful about our trip to GOD for:
1. The simple joy of kids playing in the sand and splashing in the waters of a lake.
2. Watching Evan masterfully climb rocks and seeing his love of hiking grow!
3. Playing bags with Mickey while the kids were sleeping in the RV (& winning I might add!)
4. The mini-break in our RV trip for Mick and I to go back to Ankeny (without kids) for our neighbors 10th anniversary party.
5. Running the trails along Coralville lake and the hills of Decorah (so different than running in Ankeny)
6. Air-conditiong in the RV during a major hot spell
7. Having DirectTV in the RV (we don't even have cable at home so it was a little treat and great to keep the kids happy while going down the road)
8. All the wonderful memories of family reunions flooding back while in Decorah
9. The kids screaming for "Whippy Dip" in the car over and over-my fave ice cream shop in Decorah
10. A playground set right outside our RV at our campground in WI
11. Time with the Kinzenbaw cousins and their lovely wives
12. My father in law for lending us the RV
13. Time spent canoeing and fishing at Devil's Lake
14. My husband who drove the RV the whole time since there was no way I was driving that huge thing!
15. Going to Bay St. Beach for 25 cent carnival rides!
16. Sleeping with Ev and waking up with him rubbing my head and saying, "Good morning!"
17. Watching Alea want to do everything Ev is doing and following him around and repeating everything he says.
18. Seeing deer out of our RV window in the mornings.
19. My kids having a love of nature.
20. Time, resources, and the means to go on an RV trip like this, memories have been made that will last a lifetime.
Psalm 105:1
Oh give thanks to the Lord; call upon his name; make his deeds known among the peoples!
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Thankful Tuesday...only 3 days late!
Soooo, I really wanted to be good about posting on Tuesday's the things I am grateful for AND I actually did have them ready to go on Tuesday due to some rare alone time at Panera, but alas, the transfer from paper to the computer did not happen... But better late than never so here goes the Top 20 things I am thankful to God for this past week:
1. Smell of a freshly shampooed and soaped child
2. Quiet time at Panera by myself after a long week
3. My ever cautious, rule following son coming out of his room after nap saying, "mommy, can I come down?"
4. Alea falling asleep in the van less than a minute after a Jester Park outing, head hanging way down
5. Mickey taking care of me after I fell running
6. Nice lady giving me a bandaid so I could run two miles home w/o spreading blood all over Ankeny
7. Garage sale deals, example an Old Navy winter coat for Ev for $5!
8. The way Alea gives kissers
9. 2 sets of intact, loving grandparents for our kiddos
10. Much needed rain
11. 2 friends telling me they see my spiritual growth, it is all God, but I love how God is changing and molding me!
12. Old friends and new friends
13. The new homeschooling group at my church
14. Fresh blueberries on my oatmeal
15. Mickey tearing up while watching Courageous,love his sensitive heart to God's call on his life to be a father
16. New opportunities
17. When my 2 little ones are cuddling together on my king sized bed
18. Grilling out and eating outside! Less for me to clean up!
19. 4 bathrooms to clean...wanted to complain about this the other day but thought that people with no bathroom at all wouldn't mind cleaning 4!
20. God is teaching me more and more everyday, I feel His pull on my life in ways I never imagined.
There you have it! Come back this coming Tuesday and I encourage you to take some time and give thanks!
Psalm 107:1
Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, for His steadfast love endures forever.
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Thankful Tuesday
One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are by Ann Voskamp is a book I have read recently and a book that has significantly impacted me and hopefully will eventually change me... (it is hard to change life long ingrained attitudes!) I will write more about the book and what it is about another day, but for now, a short synopsis and some giving thanks. The main idea from this author is to experience the true joy that God wants us to have, we have to CONTINUALLY give thanks... That when we focus on all the "gifts" God has given us and gives us daily, we can then let go of the sadness, stress, and stuff that ultimately gets us nowhere. This author hits it hard too, she has been through some stuff that would not make it easy to be giving thanks. So that is it about the book for now, I would highly recommend it and will review it fully in my next post. But as a tired momma who needs to go to bed,I want to list some things I am thankful to God for this past week..
1. Putting on pjs and washing my face after a long day
2. Watching Evan, Isaac, and Solon run around the park, just 3 lil boys without a care in the world
3. Friends who sacrificially bring a meal/food to help our family out
4. Movie night in the basement with smiling excited kids
5. A hot sweaty 4 mile much needed prayer run
6. My Titus girls
7. A church family giving abundantly to a missionary family leaving our church
8. Looking forward to my kids being in my cousins wedding
9. Playing words with Friends with my mom
10. Ev saying to me while hugging his sister, "I love her."
11. My dishwasher!
12. A great GI doc for my lil girl
13. Making the bed
14. Coffee ( can I list this several times?) :)
15. Hosting the Wilson's, missionaries from Hungary who have blessed us more than they can imagine
16. Watching Esti and Eliza Wilson dance ballet in our living room to classical music never having taken lessons
17. Eating a catered lunch from Panera via my pastors wife Judie with her, PJ, and some missionaries while kids napped!
18. Blue skies
19. Giving sandals to Ev's lil buddy Isaac and seeing his face light up when we gave them to him
20. Being encouraged and blessed by Zsofi Wilson during some one on one time while kids are sleeping
That is it for now but more lists to come! It was fun to think about all the good gifts God has given me just in the past week, this list doesn't even cover it. Sure, there have been some stressful and hard things on there too but that is the point, why focus on those? I feel more at peace than I have all week after sitting down and really counting my blessings.. Try it, you may just feel better too!
Thanks to the book for this idea and to my friend Erin who is also counting her blessings on her blog.
James 1:17
Every good and perfect gift is from above and comes down from the Father of Lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.
Saturday, May 26, 2012
18 month old baby/little girl
I have been so busy lately with my 2 kiddos 3 and under, combined with being a stay at home mom and having a husband who works a rather odd schedule, I sometimes don't even realize what day of the week it is. But with Alea's 18 month doctor's appointment looming on the calendar, it hit me, she is 1 and 1/2 years old! How did that happen? I know with Evan I was always on top of these things but it is not as easy with two... I remember my dad telling me it was the same way when I came along 2 years after my brother Josh. Now this does not mean my little girl doesn't make her presence known, wowza! She is feisty, adventerous, funny, determined, stubborn, sensitive, curious, tender-hearted, smart, crazy, and simply beautiful. I am still in shock sometimes that I have a daughter and I get to be part of her life and watch her grow and change.
Her eyelashes go on for miles which complement her huge brown eyes. She has a little baby mullet as we like to call it as she sleeps on her tummy so it grows in the back and she rubs it off in the front! :) Her feet are long and flat like her daddy's. She has already slightly chipped two of her teeth and has at least a few new scrapes on her body daily.
She ADORES her big brother and calls him "Buddy". She imitates him, wants to do everything he is doing, wants to play with whatever he has (which doesn't annoy him at all! ha!) If he is in timeout, she goes and joins him. If he is sad, she gives him a hug.
Wrestle time with daddy is a highlight of her day. She is not scared to try and knock him down and get rough with the boys. Getting chased around the house by daddy makes her scream in delight.
She loves carrying around a dolly and recently a little Belle figurine (since brother loves Beauty and the Beast). She is getting into Legos and sticks with it till she gets a pretty big tower built. She love play-do but I have to make sure she doesn't slip it in her mouth-it is like she is still trying to figure out what it is! If she is outside, she is the happiest. She would stay out there all day if I let her... she loves digging in dirt-not afraid to get messy one bit, swinging at the park-she sees them and bolts for them while saying "wings!", she loves riding in her little pink push car while Evan rides his bike, and running out into the middle of our cul-de-sac much to my dismay-still working on this, and now that it is hot, we have had our little pool out and whether clothed or in a swimsuit, she just gets right in.
I lost track of how many words she can say now and she can string together 2-5 word sentences. She pronounces all words with the K sound with a T sound-like cookie sounds like tootie. Our doctor was pretty shocked at how well she was speaking at her appointment, she even said, "hi Dr. White" perfectly after I told her to say hi. My favorite is how she says love you, she says "love ooo"...it melts my heart.
We have standoffs at the dinner table quite often. We usually make our kids eat their veggies 1st and she will sit there FOREVER and refuse to eat so has gone without dinner at times, but then sometimes she scarfs them down! Girls! :) She loves crackers, pretzels, pancakes, ketchup, hot dogs, noodles, broccoli, banana, applesauce, and pears.
As you can tell, she keeps me BUSY! I can't imagine life without her and though I was never planning on her at that point in my life, God had the best plans in mind when allowing me to become her mommy.
;mbbbbbbb ziuiujjummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmk (haha, Alea just got hold of the computer and did this!)
Her eyelashes go on for miles which complement her huge brown eyes. She has a little baby mullet as we like to call it as she sleeps on her tummy so it grows in the back and she rubs it off in the front! :) Her feet are long and flat like her daddy's. She has already slightly chipped two of her teeth and has at least a few new scrapes on her body daily.
She ADORES her big brother and calls him "Buddy". She imitates him, wants to do everything he is doing, wants to play with whatever he has (which doesn't annoy him at all! ha!) If he is in timeout, she goes and joins him. If he is sad, she gives him a hug.
| Enjoying some dessert at the park with big bro |
Wrestle time with daddy is a highlight of her day. She is not scared to try and knock him down and get rough with the boys. Getting chased around the house by daddy makes her scream in delight.
She loves carrying around a dolly and recently a little Belle figurine (since brother loves Beauty and the Beast). She is getting into Legos and sticks with it till she gets a pretty big tower built. She love play-do but I have to make sure she doesn't slip it in her mouth-it is like she is still trying to figure out what it is! If she is outside, she is the happiest. She would stay out there all day if I let her... she loves digging in dirt-not afraid to get messy one bit, swinging at the park-she sees them and bolts for them while saying "wings!", she loves riding in her little pink push car while Evan rides his bike, and running out into the middle of our cul-de-sac much to my dismay-still working on this, and now that it is hot, we have had our little pool out and whether clothed or in a swimsuit, she just gets right in.
| Loving the natural playscape at Jester Park |
| Visiting daddy at the firestation, all dirt smudged from climbing around the fire trucks |
We have standoffs at the dinner table quite often. We usually make our kids eat their veggies 1st and she will sit there FOREVER and refuse to eat so has gone without dinner at times, but then sometimes she scarfs them down! Girls! :) She loves crackers, pretzels, pancakes, ketchup, hot dogs, noodles, broccoli, banana, applesauce, and pears.
As you can tell, she keeps me BUSY! I can't imagine life without her and though I was never planning on her at that point in my life, God had the best plans in mind when allowing me to become her mommy.
;mbbbbbbb ziuiujjummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmk (haha, Alea just got hold of the computer and did this!)
| Giving me bday kissers before going on a walk |
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Tumbling Class, such fun!
So Ev is now old enough to sign up for some of the Park and Rec activities in our town. We decided to enroll him in parent/tot tumbling class. It was so fun! Now, the class was only $18 and it was taught by a couple of high school students so it wasn't the most technical class, but just perfect for a 3 year old boy who needs practice listening and doing what a teacher says and exercising while at it! It met for 45 min. one day a week for about 6 weeks. He learned how to stretch out, do somersaults, walk on a little balance beam, and got to jump on a little mini-trampoline (I think he would have been happy to do that the whole time!). His other favorite thing about class was when they would stretch and smell their stinky feet! You will see what I am talking about in a picture below.
I would highly recommend this class, especially if you are not sure if your child will like a tumbling class, since others in town are super expensive. It is a great little starter for an active tot! And as a mom, it was so fun to just watch him do it on his own...made me sad to think about how big and independent he is getting, but a little proud too at how well he did!
Next up swim lessons in July/August! Last year, we signed up for June and it was the week of 40 degree weather. Hoping for better timing this year!
I would highly recommend this class, especially if you are not sure if your child will like a tumbling class, since others in town are super expensive. It is a great little starter for an active tot! And as a mom, it was so fun to just watch him do it on his own...made me sad to think about how big and independent he is getting, but a little proud too at how well he did!
Next up swim lessons in July/August! Last year, we signed up for June and it was the week of 40 degree weather. Hoping for better timing this year!
| Smelling his "stinky" feet! |
| Balance! Look at that focus! :) |
| Backwards somersault with some help from the teachers! |
| I think he is trying to convince the teacher to let him just keep bouncing away! |
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Marriage on the Rock (s)???
Is your marriage (or relationship) on the rocks? Or rocky? Or even pebbly? Because mine certainly has been all of the above for quite some time now...What I mean is I allowed for everything, big or little, to become a stumbling block in our marriage. It was as if we were trying to climb a mountain (which let's be honest, marriage can feel like an unclimbable mountain at times!), and as if climbing a mountain isn't already difficult enough, I would choose the most difficult, incorrect, treacherous, path even when presented with a knowingly easier way.
I was blessed enough to be able to attend a marriage retreat 2 weekends ago, hosted by our church, and facilitated by a husband and wife who have been counseling couples for a LONG time now...All I can say is "Amazing". God pulled everything together in a 24 hour time span to change my marriage for a lifetime. This is just how God works too-He knows exactly when we need something and how to give it to us. Mickey and I were at a point where neither one of us were going to budge on certain issues, we were only looking out for ourselves, our own interests, and the only time we would give a little is IF the other person gave a little. This is NOT how God designed marriage and let me share with you some highlights about what we found about how marriage should work in God's eyes.
Agape Love
1st, God calls us to "agape" love our spouses. This Greek word means to love in a totally unselfish way, to give and keep on giving without expecting anything in return. What??? So, even when my hubby chooses a hobby over me, or doesn't give a thoughtful gift for my birthday, or forgets to take out the trash leaving me to do it in the freezing cold, I still have to LOVE him? I can't get mad and give him the silent treatment or nag at him??? ugghhhhh, so hard... but when I think about the last 7 years, I can't remember the last time nagging did any good. It just makes him mad and justifiably so, who wants to be around someone who is always on their case? So, I thought to myself, I should do this. I should just love Mickey no matter what. He is never going to be perfect and neither am I. Jesus loves me even though I am constantly screwing up and as a Christ follower, I am called to be like Him. And I LOVE that I can always count on Jesus LOVE. It is what gets me through each day. So, how cool if I could provide that for my husband? How uplifting would that be for him? If he could always count on my LOVE? I want him to be the best person he can be and I thought I was helping him by always pointing out how he could do better, boy, is that the wrong way to go about it. I know now the best way I can help him is to LOVE him unconditionally. Which brings me to the next topic we discussed at the retreat.
Loving our Husbands
Did you know that men and women are different? haha... I am sure you did. But at the same time, how many times have you expected your significant other to know exactly what you need in the relationship without telling them? We are made differently and are a perfect complement to each other when we allow ourselves to accept the unique way God created us. We were taught at this retreat that men need 4 things from a wife: 1. companionship with us 2. to be respected by us 3. to provide and protect us 4. physical union with us. Let's go back to #1. Guys love to have a friend and we need to be their best friend. We need to do things he enjoys (even when we do NOT enjoy them). It means the world to them, so even though you may hate golf, or despise looking at cars for no reason, if your husband wants to do that with you, DO IT! It is a small sacrifice to show him that you LOVE him. 2nd, men desire our respect. They need to know we believe they are capable. They need us to be their cheerleader and give them confidence. If men don't have that, disastrous things can happen. Their whole demeanor will be that of a broken man who isn't able to accomplish anything-we have that kind of power over our husbands. So next time, your hubby comes to you with something he wants to do, encourage him. Let him know you believe in him. 3rd, men have the need to provide and protect us. It is built into their soul. You can easily help with this by not complaining about the things you don't have and thanking him for the work he does for the family. To him, provision for his family equals LOVE as told by our speaker. He may not always SAY he LOVES you verbally, but if he is working hard to provide everyday for your needs, he LOVES you, so be grateful. 4th, within marriage, God designed sex to be beautiful and enjoyable. Husbands NEED that time and experience with you, it is not something they can help or change about themselves. Just like wives can't change their need for acts and words of love...and we wouldn't want our husbands to say, we are too tired to show you love by working or to tell you we love you...So wives, let's go! (I know this is personal, but it is sooooo important!) It the one thing that only wives can provide for our husbands out of the 4 things he needs, if we don't provide it for him, who will?
Loving the Wife
Women are a little more complicated. We only have 3 needs but there are so many different ways to fulfill them and men need to know them all! 1st, men need to just simply love us. Tell us constantly. We need to hear this day in day out. We need hugs in the middle of the day, we need phone calls over your lunch hour, we need you to study us and know what makes us the most loved. (The 5 Love Languages book is a good place to find out how best you feel love). Each woman is unique, don't assume cuz another husband bought his wife flowers, that this is what you should do. I, for one, think that is a waste, would much rather have a gift card to a spa or a handwritten note. LOVE your wife in her way! 2nd, understand your wife. We are not like you!!! We have to say about 20,000 words a day compared to your 12,000. Listen to us wholeheartedly. We have so much to say! haha! Know that we love that you are the man and we expect you to do manly things (like killing spiders and buying a car!) Understand that we are much more emotional and it doesn't help us for you to just try and solve the problem, just listen and empathize. That is all we want. 3rd, honor your wife. I LOVE the list our speaker gave so I will share it:
1. Stand in "awe" of her.
2. Compliment her.
3. Brag about her in front of others.
4. Thank her for the things she accomplishes.
5. Treat her with respect as the weaker vessel. (1 Peter 3:7)
6. Cherish her.
This hits the nail on the head for me! What do you think your wife would be like if you did these things for her? I would say you would have a wife who is glowing from the inside out. You would have a wife who would feel like she could do anything. Don't you want your wife to feel like that? C'mon guys, do it! Make her feel like she is heaven on earth (even when she is not deserving).
Okay, well I could go on and on...if you can't tell, I love the topic of marriage. I want so badly for Mickey and I to have an amazing, God-inspired marriage. We only have this 1 life! I don't want to spend it arguing with the person I CHOSE to marry. And that is what it comes down to, choices. I have to choose to AGAPE LOVE my hubby regardless if he reciprocates. Whether it changes my marriage in this life or not, I will stand before God one day and have to discuss what kind of wife I was. And I want to be able to tell God that I did my very best to do marriage His way.
So, don't let rocks or pebbles or rubble get in your way of climbing the mountain of marriage. There is an easier way. (even if it seems more difficult at the time) We all know the view from the top of a mountain is the same whether we struggle to get there or not. So, get up to that view and enjoy, the sooner, the better!
(I want to give credit to Todd and Kari Heilman who facilitated the retreat. They did an amazing job and God has gifted them to help people realize how awesome marriage can be. Praise God for them!)
I was blessed enough to be able to attend a marriage retreat 2 weekends ago, hosted by our church, and facilitated by a husband and wife who have been counseling couples for a LONG time now...All I can say is "Amazing". God pulled everything together in a 24 hour time span to change my marriage for a lifetime. This is just how God works too-He knows exactly when we need something and how to give it to us. Mickey and I were at a point where neither one of us were going to budge on certain issues, we were only looking out for ourselves, our own interests, and the only time we would give a little is IF the other person gave a little. This is NOT how God designed marriage and let me share with you some highlights about what we found about how marriage should work in God's eyes.
Agape Love
1st, God calls us to "agape" love our spouses. This Greek word means to love in a totally unselfish way, to give and keep on giving without expecting anything in return. What??? So, even when my hubby chooses a hobby over me, or doesn't give a thoughtful gift for my birthday, or forgets to take out the trash leaving me to do it in the freezing cold, I still have to LOVE him? I can't get mad and give him the silent treatment or nag at him??? ugghhhhh, so hard... but when I think about the last 7 years, I can't remember the last time nagging did any good. It just makes him mad and justifiably so, who wants to be around someone who is always on their case? So, I thought to myself, I should do this. I should just love Mickey no matter what. He is never going to be perfect and neither am I. Jesus loves me even though I am constantly screwing up and as a Christ follower, I am called to be like Him. And I LOVE that I can always count on Jesus LOVE. It is what gets me through each day. So, how cool if I could provide that for my husband? How uplifting would that be for him? If he could always count on my LOVE? I want him to be the best person he can be and I thought I was helping him by always pointing out how he could do better, boy, is that the wrong way to go about it. I know now the best way I can help him is to LOVE him unconditionally. Which brings me to the next topic we discussed at the retreat.
Loving our Husbands
Did you know that men and women are different? haha... I am sure you did. But at the same time, how many times have you expected your significant other to know exactly what you need in the relationship without telling them? We are made differently and are a perfect complement to each other when we allow ourselves to accept the unique way God created us. We were taught at this retreat that men need 4 things from a wife: 1. companionship with us 2. to be respected by us 3. to provide and protect us 4. physical union with us. Let's go back to #1. Guys love to have a friend and we need to be their best friend. We need to do things he enjoys (even when we do NOT enjoy them). It means the world to them, so even though you may hate golf, or despise looking at cars for no reason, if your husband wants to do that with you, DO IT! It is a small sacrifice to show him that you LOVE him. 2nd, men desire our respect. They need to know we believe they are capable. They need us to be their cheerleader and give them confidence. If men don't have that, disastrous things can happen. Their whole demeanor will be that of a broken man who isn't able to accomplish anything-we have that kind of power over our husbands. So next time, your hubby comes to you with something he wants to do, encourage him. Let him know you believe in him. 3rd, men have the need to provide and protect us. It is built into their soul. You can easily help with this by not complaining about the things you don't have and thanking him for the work he does for the family. To him, provision for his family equals LOVE as told by our speaker. He may not always SAY he LOVES you verbally, but if he is working hard to provide everyday for your needs, he LOVES you, so be grateful. 4th, within marriage, God designed sex to be beautiful and enjoyable. Husbands NEED that time and experience with you, it is not something they can help or change about themselves. Just like wives can't change their need for acts and words of love...and we wouldn't want our husbands to say, we are too tired to show you love by working or to tell you we love you...So wives, let's go! (I know this is personal, but it is sooooo important!) It the one thing that only wives can provide for our husbands out of the 4 things he needs, if we don't provide it for him, who will?
Loving the Wife
Women are a little more complicated. We only have 3 needs but there are so many different ways to fulfill them and men need to know them all! 1st, men need to just simply love us. Tell us constantly. We need to hear this day in day out. We need hugs in the middle of the day, we need phone calls over your lunch hour, we need you to study us and know what makes us the most loved. (The 5 Love Languages book is a good place to find out how best you feel love). Each woman is unique, don't assume cuz another husband bought his wife flowers, that this is what you should do. I, for one, think that is a waste, would much rather have a gift card to a spa or a handwritten note. LOVE your wife in her way! 2nd, understand your wife. We are not like you!!! We have to say about 20,000 words a day compared to your 12,000. Listen to us wholeheartedly. We have so much to say! haha! Know that we love that you are the man and we expect you to do manly things (like killing spiders and buying a car!) Understand that we are much more emotional and it doesn't help us for you to just try and solve the problem, just listen and empathize. That is all we want. 3rd, honor your wife. I LOVE the list our speaker gave so I will share it:
1. Stand in "awe" of her.
2. Compliment her.
3. Brag about her in front of others.
4. Thank her for the things she accomplishes.
5. Treat her with respect as the weaker vessel. (1 Peter 3:7)
6. Cherish her.
This hits the nail on the head for me! What do you think your wife would be like if you did these things for her? I would say you would have a wife who is glowing from the inside out. You would have a wife who would feel like she could do anything. Don't you want your wife to feel like that? C'mon guys, do it! Make her feel like she is heaven on earth (even when she is not deserving).
Okay, well I could go on and on...if you can't tell, I love the topic of marriage. I want so badly for Mickey and I to have an amazing, God-inspired marriage. We only have this 1 life! I don't want to spend it arguing with the person I CHOSE to marry. And that is what it comes down to, choices. I have to choose to AGAPE LOVE my hubby regardless if he reciprocates. Whether it changes my marriage in this life or not, I will stand before God one day and have to discuss what kind of wife I was. And I want to be able to tell God that I did my very best to do marriage His way.
So, don't let rocks or pebbles or rubble get in your way of climbing the mountain of marriage. There is an easier way. (even if it seems more difficult at the time) We all know the view from the top of a mountain is the same whether we struggle to get there or not. So, get up to that view and enjoy, the sooner, the better!
(I want to give credit to Todd and Kari Heilman who facilitated the retreat. They did an amazing job and God has gifted them to help people realize how awesome marriage can be. Praise God for them!)
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