Musical Monday-"If We're Honest"

Just trying a new idea for a regular Monday post as I am trying my best to get back into blogging.  Moving back to the states has been CRAZY to say the least, and now getting settled into Ankeny is keeping us pretty booked.  Which we love!  It is so good to see people and reconnect.
More on all that soon, but I thought I would share a song every Monday that is getting me to think.  There are just lyrics out there that need to be shared and discussed.  Music can be so powerful.

This song is by my favorite artist, Francesca Battistelli.  I just love her.  Seriously, I have had many friends who tell me when they hear her songs they think of me!  :)  The song is called, "If We're Honest".  Please take a listen-it is only 4 minutes!!!

If We're Honest by Francesca Battistelli

There is soooooo much that could be said about this song.  But this year, as most of you know, we were forced to be incredibly real with people.  Many came along on a journey with us and at the end of it we had to be honest.  It wasn't easy like she says at the beginning of the song- "the truth is harder than a lie" and "yeah, it may be hard but the best thing we could ever do..."  Some have even told us they can't believe we didn't just say something else or explain it a different way.  But here comes the great part of the song and some awesome truth-"There is freedom found when we lay our secrets down at the cross."  Seriously, amen to that!  I praise God for that freedom. That freedom wouldn't have happened if we would have lied.  Yes, our lives would have been "safer" in the dark.  We wouldn't have to defend ourselves or have any kind of spotlight shine on us.
I want to encourage you tonight to know that you don't have to hide.  What would our world look like if people were honest to each other, if we were real with each other???  We are all a mess-let's admit it and be a mess together!  God is big enough to handle the biggest of messes.

"Bring your brokenness and I'll bring mine, 
Cause love can heal what hurt divides,
And mercy's waiting on the other side,
If we're honest."

Musical Monday-"If We're Honest"

Just trying a new idea for a regular Monday post as I am trying my best to get back into blogging.  Moving back to the states has been CRAZY to say the least, and now getting settled into Ankeny is keeping us pretty booked.  Which we love!  It is so good to see people and reconnect.
More on all that soon, but I thought I would share a song every Monday that is getting me to think.  There are just lyrics out there that need to be shared and discussed.  Music can be so powerful.

This song is by my favorite artist, Francesca Battistelli.  I just love her.  Seriously, I have had many friends who tell me when they hear her songs they think of me!  :)  The song is called, "If We're Honest".  Please take a listen-it is only 4 minutes!!!

If We're Honest by Francesca Battistelli

There is soooooo much that could be said about this song.  But this year, as most of you know, we were forced to be incredibly real with people.  Many came along on a journey with us and at the end of it we had to be honest.  It wasn't easy like she says at the beginning of the song- "the truth is harder than a lie" and "yeah, it may be hard but the best thing we could ever do..."  Some have even told us they can't believe we didn't just say something else or explain it a different way.  But here comes the great part of the song and some awesome truth-"There is freedom found when we lay our secrets down at the cross."  Seriously, amen to that!  I praise God for that freedom. That freedom wouldn't have happened if we would have lied.  Yes, our lives would have been "safer" in the dark.  We wouldn't have to defend ourselves or have any kind of spotlight shine on us.
I want to encourage you tonight to know that you don't have to hide.  What would our world look like if people were honest to each other, if we were real with each other???  We are all a mess-let's admit it and be a mess together!  God is big enough to handle the biggest of messes.

"Bring your brokenness and I'll bring mine, 
Cause love can heal what hurt divides,
And mercy's waiting on the other side,
If we're honest."

Back home in the U.S.A.

It's been almost two weeks since we have been back.  We technically don't have a "home" yet, but God has been good to us in teaching us that HOME really is where the heart is.  Some people have asked how the kids are doing with all of the change and I am happy to say that they are just fine, better than fine.  We have each other and we serve the same God-that is all that matters.
I thought I would compile one of my random lists covering some of my latest thoughts, emotions, and musings.

1.  Taking a hot shower and actually feeling clean afterwards is a pretty amazing feeling.  Something I won't take for granted anytime soon.
2.  I lost a jr. high/high school friend a few weeks ago and it hit me pretty hard.  He was an amazing guy who always made me laugh.  Memories keep flooding my mind of my time with him.  The only good thing that is coming out of it right now is the desire to keep in better touch with old friends.
3.  It is very strange to think about how I was in Zambia two weeks ago preparing to leave.
4.  I love how living in Zambia taught me to be more relaxed.  Not that it is a relaxing place to live, it is actually quite stressful, but I feel like I have a better understanding of first world problems and third world problems.
5.  Straight roads are nice. And driving on the "right" side of the road and "right" side of the vehicle. :)
6.  Filming House Hunters International was such a nerve-wracking, yet fun experience.  We had the best crew and they felt like family by the end.  I have no idea how the show will turn out, but it was a good time and we were told really positive things by the crew.  "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and GLORIFY YOUR FATHER IN HEAVEN."
7. My dad said something really funny the other day about my feet, "are they going to be permanently dirt stained?"  I laughed so hard.  My feet certainly took a hit in Africa.  I wouldn't have it any other way though.
8.  It is strange to have to think about the weather now and what to wear.  In Zambia, you pretty much know it is going to be hot, and my clothes options were pretty limited.  Being back, it has already been 50 degrees and 85 degrees.  Never once did we have that kind of jump in Zambia!
9.  I get my first haircut in 9 months on Friday and I am pumped.
10.  My heart hurts when I think about how much I miss our friends in Zambia.
11.  There is something freeing about going to the faucet and putting a cup underneath and drinking from that cup.  Do not take this lightly folks, we have it very easy here!
12.  God blessed us with two amazing little travelers.  On our 15 hour flight, they were rock stars.  They played, colored, slept, and watched movies.  I was more antsy then they were!
13.  Abu Dhabi and Dubai were the cleanest cities I have ever been in.  And the richest too.  It was definitely a major contrast leaving Africa and being there a few days.
14.  Evan got his foot stuck in an escalator in Dubai.  I was able to pull it out right before we got to the bottoms but it was pretty scary.  He did lose a chunk of skin off his big toe and it is taking some time to heal.
15.  All I want to do eat all the yummy food I missed this last 9 months, but I am trying both successfully and unsuccessfully to have will power.
16.  We had a really unique situation in Zambia where we got to live in the same yard (different houses) as our wonderful friends and fellow missionaries from Ankeny, the Smiths.  It is not often that adults get to experience the community we did.  We loved each other through the good and bad and they are now our extended "family".  It was very hard to leave them.  We miss you guys!!!
17.  I love how stores are organized to make logical sense here!
18.  Time is tricky everywhere.  I was busy in Zambia and I am busy here in different ways.  My prayer is that God will help me to always plan my day according to kingdom purposes.
19.  We have been living out of boxes for about a year now-excited to move into our apartment in mid-June and not be digging to find everything!
20.  There is a really amazing guy named Chimbaza that we have hired to continue the work we started in Zambia.  He is a man of integrity and conviction and we praise God that he wanted to work with us! More on him soon.
21.  Am I excited to be back? Yes.  Do I want to be here and there simultaneously? Yes.  Still sorting through all these thoughts and emotions.

Evan's poor little toe

Our housekeeper and my dear friend who I miss-Felista

Filming HHI

My "sister" Heidi (left) and Dr. Marjie-two amazing servants of the Lord

Mickey and Chimbaza at the Kalungula garden we planted

Goodbye Zambia, Hello U.S.A.

Yes, come mid-May, we will be saying our goodbyes to our ministry partners and friends in Zambia and saying hello to our family and friends in the U.S..  Due to our adoption not taking place, Mickey's work has called him back into service.  Part of the deal with him getting time off was use of FMLA time, and now we are not covered by that time.  He has unfortunately already used all of his vacation and sick leave time to be here.  We did ask for an unpaid extension, but it was denied.  The Bible is clear about respecting authority, including employers, so we are following orders.  We are extremely grateful to the Des Moines Fire Department for allowing us to have the time we did have. 

As you can imagine, we have many mixed emotions.  We know that we obeyed God when deciding not to adopt and we don't regret the decision at all.  We both have great peace about it.  But to find out that because of this decision, we can't complete our time here and finish the way we wanted to finish is difficult.  

Also, after having so many things move so slowly here for so long, it is a jolt to the system to need to move so quickly all of a sudden. That is one of the reasons the blog has been silent lately!  But if there is one thing we have learned here, it is not to question God and His ways or timing.  This is the time He has ordained for us to return home, even though our plan was early August.  His ways are, without a doubt, better than ours, so although sad, we are trusting in Him.

We want to give our biggest heartfelt thanks to all of you who have followed our journey here in Zambia.  This year was made possible by all of you.  Your prayers, financial support,  and words of encouragement have meant so much to us.  The next few weeks are quite busy for us as we wrap up our work here, transfer responsibilities, pack, say our good-byes, and make arrangements for moving back home, but please be on the lookout for several blog posts to come where we will share in greater detail about all the different ways God used us this year and the things He has taught us.  It wasn't always easy this year to keep up with blogging, especially with power outages and running out of Internet data!  Mickey and I are looking forward to having consistent power and unlimited Internet upon our return. :)  We know there are many things God wants us to share with all of you and we hope you will come back and read them.  Living here and doing ministry here has been one of the toughest, yet most rewarding time in our lives.  We are especially appreciative that because of our time here, God has given Mickey a clear vision about how to continue the work we have started, even while returning home to Iowa.  We will be sharing that with you soon too!!! 

The greatest thing about returning home a bit early will be that we will get to see many of you. soon  This is the longest Mickey and I have been away from some of you and we look forward to many happy reunions.  Just so you know, we will be staying in the Quad Cities with my folks from mid May to the 1st part of June.  Next, we will spend time on the farm with Mickey's parents for a few weeks in June.  Mickey will be a bit busier than me as he will be traveling from both of these places up to Des Moines to work his shifts.  On the 14th of June, we will move to an apartment in Ankeny while we build our home there.  Please let us know if you would like to get together or just stop by my parents or the farm to see us.  We would love it!!!  

Teacher Training in the Bush

I have to admit that I was really nervous going into leading a teacher training for teachers out in the bush yesterday.  For a few reasons... One being I have been out of the game for 3 years.  Had to kick myself back in to teacher mode.  Thankfully, the three things they wanted me to talk about are three parts of teaching that never really leave you.  I was also fortunate to work to work in a top-notch school district with AMAZING co-workers, whom I learned more from than any amount of schooling.  All of their wisdom, ideas, and techniques have stuck with me.  Thank you to those wonderful people.  You know who you are. :-)
The three topics were ethics of being a teacher, classroom management, and lesson planning.  My second reason for being nervous was I wanted to be relevant to them. The 1st topic didn't really present a problem because that topic is pretty much the same for Zambians and Americans.  I spoke about the high calling of being a teacher and how we need to have high standards for ourselves.  No matter where you are on a map, teachers are an important part of society.   All teachers are role models whether they like it or not.  We have the power of being able to greatly help or harm their students because of this.  Our words carry great weight.  And our actions speak louder than words.  I warned the teachers that students are always watching.   Our students want to know that we are who we say we are and that we value education.  If we don't have a love for learning and convey that love to our students, most are unlikely to develop that passion on their own.  The only difficult part of this lesson was motivating them to take on this task.  In America, because teaching is a paid job, most are going to be pretty ethical teachers.  We have to be on time and be prepared or we will lose our job. There is an external motivation system in place.  Here, out in the bush, these teachers are VOLUNTEERS.  All of their hard work and effort has to come from within, an internal motivation system.  Just plain out of the goodness of their heart, they need to show up on time everyday and pour into these students so that some great change can occur in this country.  Would most American teachers do this?  No paycheck? No benefits?  Working another job just so you can also teach for free???  I can't say I would be signing up for that. (Side note-I am not saying that American teachers don't also have an internal motivation system, many do, but we have both!)  I tried my best though to encourage them to be the change this country needs, to keep showing up and investing in the future.  To trust that their hard work is not in vain and that I greatly admire them for continuing on despite the hardships.  I wish I could have had more answers, more help for them...Please pray for these teachers.  They need it.
The 2nd topic was classroom management.  Oh the joy of trying to teach many students with different backgrounds, learning styles, and personalities.  I tried to keep it simple with this subject since they don't have near the amount of resources we have for classroom set up, behavior systems, etc.  I spoke on 7 guidelines to have for managing your class.  1, take charge from the beginning.  Let students know  you are the boss and you expect them to be respectful, to listen, to participate, and to do their best.  2nd, go over these expectations multiple times. Don't let little things slide.  3rd, have established consequences for not meeting expectations.  These should be developmentally appropriate and students should know what will happen, instead of being surprised. 4th, avoid disruptions by moving about and keeping an eye on students.  I know once I started talking to another teacher who popped in, my classroom would go from quite to earthquake level noise real quick.  5th, praise constantly.  Make a big deal out of the good.  6th, be proactive.  Have your lessons and materials ready to go before the day begins so you are not trying to do that while teaching.  7th, be fair.  There is no one in the world that respects someone who is unfair.  This is the short version, but wanted to give an idea.  Doreen helped me with examples to give and we also explained a few individual and class systems to keep behavior in check.
Last, but not least, lesson planning.  I might be weird, but I always loved planning lessons.  I enjoyed the challenge of looking at what my students needed to learn and how I might help them learn it.  There wasn't much time left for this session, but I was able to show them a basic template and explain the importance of planning ahead.  Doreen told me that they loved it!!! I was so glad, because I wasn't sure what experience they had with it.  I learned that in government schools, they have to plan the whole term at once-13 weeks!  And the exams are only in the last week.  They were happy to know that while you should know your overarching subjects and goals, that lesson plans need to be fluid and meet the needs of your students.  They also enjoyed learning about how to give smaller and different types of assessments during the term to get an idea if students are getting it or not.
All in all it was a fabulous day.  They were so grateful and it was such a small thing on my part.  I never thought that I would be doing a teacher training in the bush in Africa with chickens wondering in and out of the classroom and bathroom breaks in a hole in the ground.  But I loved it and I hope I get to do it again.

A few of the teachers

Doreen helping me illustrate a point

Gotta love an old-fashioned chalkboard, never even had one of these when I was teaching!

Some of the attendees

Eating our village chicken, nshima, and relish lunch!

More of the teachers

My awesome friend Doreen who volunteered her time to translate for me!!!

Easter Sunday in Zambia

Our Easter celebration in Zambia was definitely different than our normal American one, but the reason to celebrate is the same no matter where we are.  God sent His one and only son to die a gruesome death on the cross only to rise on the 3rd day, defeating death, and making the only way for us to have a relationship with Him in this life and in the next.  I cry tears of sadness and joy every year as I ponder this great sacrifice and the amazing love shown through it.

We decided to head out to the International Bible College of Zambia for their Easter service as our dear friends, the Miller family, had just arrived from America to start their missionary work there for the next 3 years.  My parents were here visiting, so they came along obviously, as well as the Smith family, who we serve alongside here in Chongwe.  It was such a treat to worship as a mix of Zambians and Americans.  As my dad notes, there is something very spiritual and touching about the way they sing and praise God here.  No fanfare or anything fancy, just simple and soulful.  I will post the clip I took on Facebook, couldn't get it to go on here! :(

After the service, I attempted to get a few pics of the kiddos, but they were way to excited to play with the Smith and Miller kids to stop and actually pose for me.  Oh well. Such is life.

We were able to have my dad snap some pictures of the 3 families all from Ankeny Free Church that are serving here in Zambia after our picnic lunch of pbj's, chips, and apples.  Can't believe we got a few with everyone looking and smiling!

And after arriving back in Chongwe, we got one family pic before my kids crashed after a busy morning of fun.

I will always remember our Easter in Zambia.  Praise God for giving us the reason for this day of celebration.

“I am the resurrection and the life.  Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?” John 11:25-26

The Body

Proverbs 27:9 The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense.

Healing. Praying. Crying. Listening. Thinking. Changing. Resting. Growing.

Words that describe the past few weeks for us. But there are many more words which have been written and spoken to us that have dominated this time thanks to many of you, our friends.  

The body of Christ. 

Without mentioning names, I want to share a few of the sweet, whispers of grace, love, empathy, and acceptance that people have given us over the last few weeks. These are more than words to us.  And we know they are more than words to you.  We have received correspondence from people that went far beyond simple "well wishing"  or "I love you's" (which are good too!).  We've read relevant and incredibly pointed messages by other Christians who were willing to make themselves vulnerable by sharing their own personal stories and struggles in order to comfort us.  The willingness to go deeper by a few people, some of whom are admittedly distant friends, shows the defining character of what being a follower of Christ is all about.  The words that many have shared have been incredibly encouraging during this season.  While we may be geographically isolated from all things familiar, we have been made to feel at home through the warm embrace of empathy, compassion and brotherly love bestowed upon us.  We are not "super Christians" for being missionaries in far off places; but are simply fellow brothers and sisters within the greater Church who, like anybody else, need to hear and experience the love of people during times of need.  

Job 4:4 Your words have helped the tottering to stand, and you have strengthened feeble knees.

A small sampling:

-regardless of mistakes made or things done - there should be no shame in what you have done. Remember to err is human and to forgive is divine! Give yourself grace and forgiveness in all of this - God already has!

-it would be easy to be prideful and just take the boys even though you know it's not right because you're worried about your reputation, but you guys are being humble and doing the right thing and that is very respectable.  God has a purpose for these boys, and He may have been using you guys as the tool to get it started.

-what I can tell you is we trust your decision and motives and you have our support 100%.  I know things didn't transpire as expected and there are things you regret but this decision takes much more guts to admit where you felt you didn't wait on God then the alternative and move forward on something because of pride when you feel it is not Gods will.

-We admire you for your courage to not only go over to Africa and adopt, but to stand strong when your plan did not exactly match God's plan. We admire you for realizing what was best for the boys, for listening to God, rather than relying on selfish pride. Thank you for your honesty...yet another thing we admire about both of you. 

-I wish I could give you a hug right now!! I have no doubt at all that the best decision was made. God is good, all the time. Can't wait to have you all back home to hear all the stories that I'm sure you have. You guys are awesome & we love you. Stay strong in Christ & everything is gonna be just fine.

-We don't always understand His ways, but they are always better than ours. You are listening to Him and that isn't just good, it's an amazing example to all who read about your journey. God is being glorified through this whole thing and that is pretty awesome!

-You are so welcome for the support & prayers... your family continues to be in my prayers!! I know others might not understand, but please know that I respect your family for making those choices... I pray that others understand too. Please don't be embarrassed about what happened. You listened to Him and there's no shame in that. We've been there...

-I shout from the roof tops to you and Mickey, I just want to give you both the biggest hug ever, no, this was not In your plan, but it was God's plan!! I just love how God works! He had decided to move you all the way to Africa to teach you two that God needs to come first and then each other! I love your story, don't be ashamed/embarrassed, nothing, you hold your head up, Girl!! You are a Jesus Girl and I love you so much for standing up for what is right for you, your marriage, your children and those precious boys and of course God!!

-Your journey has been a beautiful example of following Gods voice, stepping out and being ok when it doesn't work out how you/we thought it should, that that doesn't make u failures but actually humble enough to admit that it is ok to take another road, one that is in everyone's best interest. We have had many difficult decisions that we have had to make that left us feeling like failures, or not able to hack it, and in the last year God has been diligent in showing us his heart, and healing expectations we put on ourselves that were not from Him. Not sure if that makes sense, but seeing you handle the situation with such grace has been healing for us as well.

-What God did with us is so similar to your story that you will be amazed! I am just so thrilled that the Lord has united our hearts for such a time as this. I hope that brings you some comfort to know that someone else has walked this road and gets it. Know that I will be praying and know that His grace is sufficient. He will see you through all of this. So much love to you, sweet sister in the Lord!

-I want to start by thanking you for your honesty and openness.  We are not only not judging you for your choice, but would agree that you probably made the best decision for all involved.  Things don't always turn out the way that we think they will, and we can't always know what God has for us.  After hearing all that you have been doing in Zambia, I would say that God has been using you in a huge way.  It also sounds as though He has used you in the lives of these boys, even though it doesn't mean they will be a part of your family.  The fact that you have been obedient and endured through so much says a lot about your love for the Lord.  We can "somewhat" relate to all you have been experiencing these past months, and we know what a difficult process it is. When faced with huge decisions such as these, I think human pride would be the only thing causing you to push forward when you don't have a peace with it. 

-You are doing such great things in Africa. You are brave beyond our measure. We are so proud of what you are doing and even more proud that you could admit that this isn't right for your family. Such honesty is so rare in the world.

-I literally got chills reading this post! It is hard to accept our plan not being the best one sometimes. It takes courage and faith to understand and be patient while waiting for God's plan to be revealed. It is amazing how your connection with these two boys gave opened up another door with another couple. It is amazing how He works!

-We will continue to pray for you as you continue this journey. It is never over, and sometimes it takes moving away to a faraway place to be able to get away from the noise and truly listen to what God is saying.


This is just a small offering of the encouragement we have received over the last few weeks.  


Colossians 3:12-14
So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. 


We say thank you to each of you.  You have put on love for us, and unified us together as fellow, broken people serving an almighty, perfect God.