A Big Change is Coming

I apologize for not blogging for quite some time, but to put it plainly, there is just not enough time in the day to do the things I NEED to do, let alone do the things I WANT to do...  Hence, the big change!  May 26th will be my last day of teaching-not just for the summer-but for a few years at least! After a lot of prayer and soul searching-we are hoping this change will move our life in the direction God wants it to go.

It's interesting because if anyone asked me five years ago if I would stay home when I had kids, I would have said NO, I am a teacher, it is a great job for having kids, you get the summers off, you are home at 4:00, you get holidays off, etc.  My husband is even home 3 or 4 days a week to take care of the kids and we only need daycare 1 or 2 days!  But 4 years later (and adding my beautiful daughter Alea with my rambunctious two year old son Evan), it all looks good on paper but is working out horribly in real life.  I have always been a person to put everything into whatever I am doing...but all I have felt lately is failure.  I have not been the wife, mom, daughter, sister, friend, teacher, or person I know God wants me to be.  I know some women are capable to do it all-I see it in the lives of many women I work with-and I admire them for it.  Staying at home is not an option for everyone, nor is it the right thing for everyone.  But for me, it is not only the right thing, it is necessary!  You see, I have to go to my job and work hard at it or I will be fired, I have to feed my young kids and care for them, I have to do laundry, grocery shop, and clean, but I don't HAVE to work on my relationship with my husband.  He can fend for himself and I have no energy left for him.  Our marriage has taken a downward spiral and I can't allow it any longer.  I love him too much and I want to honor him as my husband and serve him as his wife.  I know that me staying at home is not going to magically fix our marriage, but I know in my heart of hearts, it will give us the time we need to nurture our relationship.  That's what life is about anyways, isn't it?  RELATIONSHIPS!  God calls us to love each other deeply, to love others more than ourselves.  I am hoping to work on this during my time at home with my husband and everyone around me.  I also know I haven't been working on my relationship with God either, because just like my husband, I thought He doesn't need me.  But God does need me!  There is a big world out there with people who are hurting and who need to hear the gospel, and as a believer in Jesus Christ, I am needed to spread His love and his message.  I am excited to start seizing more opportunities to serve Him. 

So...I will be much more regular in posting pretty soon (17 more days), because I am excited to be around to document all that I am learning, how my relationship with my hubby and God are doing, and all the wonderful things my beautiful kids are up to!  (Oh and these pictures are from Easter Sunday!)