Potty Misadventures...

So, about 2 weeks ago now, I had 5 diapers left.  Did I want to fork out the cash and go buy yet another pack of diapers or did I want to face the daunting task of potty training my 2 and 1/2 year old who really could care less where she goes to the bathroom?  Well, being my crazy, overachiever self, I thought let's just do it.  Even though, we had community group the first night, daddy was working the next day, and I was attempting to have a garage sale the following day.  I knew with looking ahead at our schedule, there was never going to be a "perfect" time.  Just so you know, we do the 3 day potty training method...You can find the link to the manual here-
3 Day Potty Training Method

With my first, I had no clue what to do for potty training-was literally clueless.  And I was still working and didn't have a lot of time to figure it out or research it.  Insert my awesome teacher friend Angie!  She handed me this manual after school one day and swore by it.  I took her at her word and decided this is what I would do.  (Mostly because I didn't feel like looking up a bunch of other ways-and 3 days sounded nice)
The basics of the method are you say good-bye to diapers and you put them in underwear-yes even for naps and bedtime.  You give them lots to drink during the day so that there is plenty of opportunity for mistakes and learning.  You cut them off a few hours before bedtime.  You can give a little treat each time they do make it to the potty and you make a huge deal if they go number 2.  (TMI)  The other component is you don't make them go every 15 minutes-you just say to them often-"tell me if you have to pee!"
With Ev, we followed it to a tee.  It took about 7 days in all actuality, but we have never looked back and have never had to buy one pull up.  Score!  Has he had accidents over the last two years?  Oh yeah, he is normal.  but overall, it worked like a charm for him.
Fast forward to last week with my little girl.  For some reason, I just didn't think there was any way the method was really going to work again.  Not sure why I was feeling that way, either lack of confidence or lack of energy.  So, the first day, we took away the diapers, said good-bye and put on underwear.  We went through about 7 pairs from 4pm-6pm.  No joke.  We went to community group.  She went through about 3 pairs in the first 20 minutes-but.........one small victory, that our sweet babysitters were so excited about.  They didn't know where Alea went and they found her going pee on the potty!  Go Alea!  But like I was saying earlier, I wasn't really trusting the method so I put a diaper on her that night.  Talk about confusing the poor child!  But we slept through the night which is what I desired.  Unfortunately that led me back to square one the next day and I think we went through about 14 pairs of underwear during her waking hours.  And here comes the kicker!
At night I put her diaper on to go to bed and went to set up my garage sale with some friends.  They heard Alea so I walk into our laundry room-well, just like she had been trained all day, she went to go on the potty with number 2 instead of just going in her diaper.  But just my luck, she pretty much missed then dragged it all the way down the stairs-it was on her legs, feet, everywhere.  To the bath we went. Seriously gross. And that's when it hit me how confused she was and how that was my fault.  So off came the diaper and we haven't had one on since.  The next day she only had 3 accidents and the following day no accidents.  She is seriously rocking it.  (one little side story-it is definitely different with girls though, we were at the park and there was no where to go so I took her behind the tree and let her go there-big mistake-my hubby took her to the Burger King playplace and since there is no potty in that room, she thought she could just go right there, so down came her pants in the playplace and there she went-glad I wasn't there and my hubs had to deal with that one! ha! Guess I need to go over a few more rules with her still...)
Anyways, what is the point of this post?  There are a few.  One is just to let you mommas know of a great method that has worked for me-maybe it will work for you!  2nd is to just encourage you if you are about to embark on this task-give yourself grace and your child grace.  It is a HUGE change in their lives and we can't expect them to just figure it out the first time. 3rd, pray.  At first, as usual, I thought I had it handled on my own.  Nope, turns out I need God even for this.  He cares about these seemingly little things-what an awesome God. Lastly, is to show how completely crazy and imperfect our life is-I think so many people think we have it all together because we are going to the mission field, but we still have all the messy days just like everyone else.  

What potty training misadventures have you had?  Or am I the only one whose child goes potty in a restaurant playplace?  HAHA!

My potty trained little girl!  

A Heart Divided

Iowa.                                   Zambia.

I am at home here. I am comfortable.  My heart is here with my husband and my 2 biological children.  

Yet, part of my heart has left for Zambia.  I have never been there...I am scared to live there...I am sad to leave my family and friends...everything about Zambia is unknown to me.  But somehow, I long to be there.  

There is a child there that needs me.  That needs a mom to tell him he is loved...not just by me but by the Creator who made Him

 

I have a heart divided.  I want this summer to go slow. I want this summer to go fast.  I don't want to get on a plane in September.  I can't wait to get on a plane in September.  I don't want to say good-bye. I can't wait to say hello.  I want to keep all my comforts.  I want to be uncomfortable.  You get the idea.  

But here's the best part.  I know God has a plan.  He knows why we are leaving the day we are leaving and why we need to  be here this summer.  I know He is caring for our child right now.  I believe He is letting that child know that his earthly parents are on their way and that He is their ultimate Provider and Friend whether we are there to hold him or not.  

So, until then-my heart will stay divided between two completely different places but fully captured by His amazing love.

 

Are you Weary?

Weariness=MOM

This is what I shared at my MOPS meeting this past Friday.  And isn't it the truth?  I don't know a mom who isn't weary at some point in the day or week.  Being a wife and/or mom whether working out of the home or in the home is enough to make anyone extremely tired 99% of the time. (the 1% of energetic time comes immediately after that 1st cup of coffee.-:) )

Last week, I grew weary.  I let my weariness affect my demeanor with my husband and children.  I yelled at my kids, I moped around, I criticized my husband, and was just generally a grump.  Why?
All because I felt like nobody was noticing the GOOD I was doing and so I just didn't feel like doing GOOD anymore.  I felt like I was doing everything and everyone else (my hubs and kids) weren't doing a thing.

It was all about ME.  Why aren't my children listening to me? Why isn't my husband helping me? Why aren't they thanking me?  Why isn't my husband loving me? Why aren't my children obeying me?  And you get the point...don't you?  (Clue-I was being selfish!)

So, what does the Bible say about selfishness?
But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. 
James 3:14-16

Ouch!!!!  
Do not boast!  You bet I was boasting about all the GOOD I was doing.  Do not be false! You bet I was falsely accusing my husband of doing no GOOD.  
And it goes on to say-this is earthly, unspiritual, and demonic.  Hmmm....pretty sure I don't want to be any of those 3 adjectives.  
And finally, what happens as a result of selfishness?  Disorder and every vile practice.  Yep, pretty much what happened at my house this last week.  

Ok...so what is my point? 
Galatians 6:9 And let us not grow weary in doing GOOD, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.  
I gave up this week.  Flat out.  I wasn't seeing the results I wanted to see and I wasn't getting the responses I wanted to get.  But God says clearly here, we will reap IN DUE SEASON, if we do not give up.  What is due season?  Well, simply put, it is His timing.  Not mine.  For an impatient person like myself, this is tough.  God doesn't say your husband will respond how you want tomorrow, or next month, or even in the next year.  It is all in His timing.  And we will only reap, if and only if, we do not give up on doing GOOD.  So, with renewed strength from my Father's hand, I will press on, I will do the GOOD He has called me to, and wait and trust in Him for the bountiful harvest that is coming because I haven't given up.  

Now, you are probably thinking-GOOD advice. Not sure how to not give up though when it is so frustrating and difficult to keep doing GOOD and not get the results you want.  Well, I am not going to leave you hanging, here's how:
Hebrews 12:3 Consider Him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted.  
The answer is Jesus.  What if He had chosen not to endure the cross?  That is the most GOOD anyone has ever done and if He would have given up, we would have no promise of heaven today.  He was beaten, scorned, mocked, shamed, and put on a cross.  I doubt anyone of us have been through such opposition.  So, when you think you just can't do it much longer, you just can't keep serving your husband and family, you are just too weary, REMEMBER Jesus.  It says to consider Him.  Plainly speaking, stop having a pity party and ponder how much Jesus went through for you.  Jesus was weary, yet He went on with His good.  So must we.

Wives/Moms: I know you are weary.  Me too.  But claim these verses.  Ask God for His strength.  Many girlfriends of mine and I have discussed how we try to do everything ourselves first before going to our Heavenly Father for help.  We can't be GOOD wives/mom on our own.  But we can with the power of God working in us.  

Praying for myself and all of you as you continue on doing GOOD in your homes!

4 Months...

Not going to lie...time is flying by and the fact that in a little less than 4 months we will be boarding a plane en route to our new life in Africa for a year is really hitting me.  Square in the face, heart.
I feel like God is already stripping me of all the things I think I need to be happy just so He can show me I only need Him.  Starting with time with my parents and brothers last weekend---they are just wonderful to me and to my kids.  And my little brother literally JUST GOT HOME and now I am leaving and when I get back he will be in Texas.   This is not to mention all our other wonderful family and friends that we will desperately miss while we are gone.  Next, I am preparing for a garage sale...yes, yes, I know it is just stuff, and I am not in any way attached to stuff(ask my husband-I am a tosser!), but it is more about the process.  Selling most of our things makes it real-no turning back.  3rd, our home study is complete, which means we are one step closer to adoption.  Sometime this year, 2013, I will be a mother of 3.  Woah...so excited but at the same time I can't help but be a little nervous. And finally, here is the real kicker: we sold our house.  I want to begin by praising God for this!  We listed it a little over 3 weeks ago on our own and we had about 12 showings in that time.  The couple that we ended up selling it to was literally sent from God. Not kidding.  Everything about them was best case scenario.  1st, they are fellow believers, a brother and sister in Christ.  2nd, they are renting, so no house to sell before they buy.  3rd, they are super flexible about us moving out and them moving in.  And what is also amazing is we had another offer from a different couple who would have been equally perfect. God is so good.   All I was praying for was that God would sell our house before we leave in September.  The Ephesians 3:20 verse comes to mind:
"Now to Him who is able to do IMMEASURABLY More than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us." 
I put God in a box and He literally busted out of every side.  

Which brings me to this, as much as we have going on right now, and as much as my emotions are like a roller coaster, God continues to show me that His greatest desire for me and my family is for us to be in Zambia come September.  There is no doubt about that.  And for that I am grateful and I look forward to the year ahead.

Our home for the past 5 years!

View from our backyard

Choose J.O.Y. -------Always!

Choose Joy.

So easy to say to someone, not easy for anyone to do in actual, full on, real life. Two weekends ago I had the pleasure of attending the Choose Joy women's retreat put on by our Ankeny Free Church W.E.L.L. (women encouraged to love the Lord) group.  It was just what I needed.  24 hours away from all the busyness of being a wife and mother (as well as preparing to move to a different continent) to be with my sisters in Christ and have time fully devoted to knowing my Savior better and worshipping Him.  Yep. Good stuff. (All though not nearly enough sleep, right girls?)
But what was interesting about the weekend was that many of the things discussed at this retreat were the farthest thing from being joyful.  Painful events from the past, stressful situations that are happening right now, as well as serious concerns about the future were the focus.  Yet, as our amazing speaker reminded us-believers are to choose joy ALWAYS.  And let me just tell you, I am totally guilty of having preconceived notions about Christian authors and speakers....they must have it all together, they can't really teach me anything about choosing joy in the difficulties of life because look at them, they have a published book and a speaking career.  As I read her bio in our program, I thought yep, she is a model Christian!  Then she spoke and told her story and I was BLOWN AWAY.  Not that I am glad she has been through some truly horrific things and is going through something really difficult right now, but I was impressed with her raw emotions and realness.  I don't know if I could be speaking about choosing Joy if I was going through what she is right now, yet, she is...and God used her story to activate joy in my life and in many others. It reminded me that in the end, there are no excuses and we need to be obedient to God.

Here are some key verses and lessons I took away from the retreat:

Philippians 4:4 Rejoice in the Lord always, again, I will say, rejoice.

God doesn't tell believers to only rejoice when all the good things are happening, when everything is going our way.  He says always.  And this is for one major reason: to reflect Him.  To point people to Him. To show others that we believe our God is good no matter what. To demonstrate the joy only He can give.

Philippians 1:12 says, "Now I want you to know brothers and sisters, that what has happened to me has actually served to advance the gospel."  

Trials in our lives serve as a special time to turn people towards God.  It is soooooo hard to see that when you are in the thick of it all, but oh so powerful when you can demonstrate to others the joy only God can give during the hard times.  It will bring others to God, no doubt about it.

Philippians 3:10 "I want to know Christ, yes, to know the power of His resurrection and participate in His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead."

I love how our speaker brought up this verse because I wouldn't have even thought of it having to do with joy.  Think about the words in it, sufferings and death???  But the point she brought up was because of the power of Jesus dying for us on the cross-joy is possible.  If we are going to really know Him, we have to also suffer just like He did. And He is worth every bit of pain we will go through in this life.  He is true joy.  She mentioned this song called "Worth It All"... (totally my new favorite song) Click below to listen:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GP_tNd-Di4g

Hebrews 12:2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, for the Joy set before Him, he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne.

There wasn't joy in actually dying on the cross and God is not saying to have joy because we are going through something awful.  It says he endured the cross, like, he suffered through it and struggled!  But why did he do that?  For the end result, JOY!  We are not promised only joyful events here on earth, but when we meet our Savior, there is nothing but JOY!

Now, I know what you are thinking, there is no way I can have joy right now because _______________. You fill in the blank.  You could be struggling in your marriage, you could have a very sick child, or in a job you really hate.  And these things, these trials and tribulations, are not fun-they are not designed to bring you joy.  But God is designed to bring you JOY.  He wants us to grab hold of the JOY He has for us, so take it...

No matter what is going on in your life---we always have a choice.  So....

Z.a.M.b.I.a Update

Over the river and through the woods to ZAMBIA we go!  Well, not really a river, more like the Atlantic Ocean, and through a few more places than just the woods! But you get the idea... In a little less than 5 months, our family of 4 will be hopping on a jet to live and serve in Chongwe, Zambia for 1 year.  I have to tell you all, it is becoming SUPER REAL!  Our adventure that God dreamt up and placed in our hearts is going to be here before we know it.    So much has been going on lately so I thought I would fill you in on the latest:
-Adoption homestudy is complete.  We are just waiting on our adoption lady to complete the paperwork and for me to have my physical(which is tomorrow). After those two things are done, we can send in the approved homestudy to the U.S. government.  They will then (hopefully) clear us to be eligible to adopt internationally.  When we arrive in Zambia, one of our first tasks will be to go register this information with the Zambian government.  This will expedite the process of us finding our child over there.  I was so blessed to be able to talk to a fellow adopter from Zambia recently and it was soooo helpful!  She and her husband got home a few months ago with their baby girl.  They are just up in Minneapolis so we are looking forward to talking to them again and meeting them someday!  There aren't too many U.S. families that have adopted from Zambia so this could be a great connection.  I love how God provides, even when we didn't even think to pray for this!  Finally, we have really been praying lately about God making it clear to us who we are to adopt and for His provision in all the details-the more we learn about Zambian adoption, the crazier and more difficult it seems...so please pray that God will prevail above all rules and regulations.
-Our house is on the market...yes, you read that correctly.  We prayed and prayed over this decision and in the end, felt this was a better decision than renting.  We are SAD to let go our house and leave our AMAZING neighbors-words can't begin to describe-can't quite talk about that yet.  But being halfway across the world and worrying and wondering about what is happening back at our house and if the mortgage was getting paid was not our idea of "leaving it all behind to serve God".  We are doing it for sale by owner and trusting that if it is God's will to be sold, it will sell.  3 showings in and 1 more scheduled tomorrow, so thankful for God's provision already in bringing in potential buyers.   And...if you know of anyone looking for a great 4 bedroom house with finished basement in Ankeny, let me know!  wink-wink...:)  I couldn't be a sales person if I tried-but this is my valiant effort!
-The container that we were able to put some needed household items on(things that are way too expensive or even impossible to get in Zambia) is making the trek across the ocean as we speak.  Can't even begin to explain how weird that our stuff is just floating along right now!  Please pray it arrives before we do-it should, but you never know...
-Getting kids passports this week, meant to do this a while ago, but SOMETHING always came up!  I think it only takes about 6 weeks after you apply for one so we should be good though.
-Mickey just got signed up for the Farming God's Way conference in Livingstone, Zambia in September-so right after we arrive, we will head up there so he can learn all about this program and then implement it into the village we will be living in!
-I am currently trying to figure out how I can help the teachers in the school Give Life has opened-there are about 90 kids right now and 2 teachers and not very many materials-not at all like where I taught here in Ankeny!  Lots of thinking and praying about this going on...
-Support is coming in and we couldn't be more in awe of God's goodness through the giving of many generous people.  Thank you-it is more appreciated than you will ever know and we pray God is blessing you because of your gift.  And for those of you who are still thinking about supporting us, we ask that you take that step.  This year will not be possible without the help of all of you.  If you would like to hear more about what we are doing or how the whole donation to Gospelink works, please call us, shoot us a text or email.  We would be more than happy to share with you vision God has given us for our year in Zambia.

Well, that is it for now, I am probably forgetting some major things but it is Sunday night, the hubs is working, and after a ladies retreat this weekend where I got NO sleep (post coming about that next!), my brain is fried.  So, until next time!  God Bless!

The Beauty of Zambia

Kirkwood Alumni of the Year goes to.... my hubs!

Yes, the hubby got another wonderful award.  He is now the Des Moines Firefighter of the Year and a Kirkwood Alumni of the year award winner.  You must think I am married to a saint!  Well, I will tell you, he is not!  haha!  And I am not being mean, he would tell you the same thing.  And that's what I love about my husband. He knows it is nothing HE has done or is doing to earn these awards-it is having Jesus Christ as His personal Savior working in his heart helping him be honorable in his actions and loving others.  He also knows he doesn't even do these things perfectly!  We are all filthy, rotten, sinners with no chance at righteousness. 
Check out this passage in Romans 3:

⁹ Well then, should we conclude that we Jews are better than others? No, not at all, for we have already shown that all people, whether Jews or Gentiles,^[c] are under the power of sin. ¹⁰ As the Scriptures say,

“No one is righteous—
    not even one.
¹¹ No one is truly wise;
    no one is seeking God.
¹² All have turned away;
    all have become useless.
No one does good,
    not a single one.”^[d]
13 “Their talk is foul, like the stench from an open grave.
    Their tongues are filled with lies.”
“Snake venom drips from their lips.”^[e]
14     “Their mouths are full of cursing and bitterness.”^[f]
15 “They rush to commit murder.
¹⁶     Destruction and misery always follow them.
¹⁷ They don’t know where to find peace.”^[g]
18     “They have no fear of God at all.”^[h]

¹⁹ Obviously, the law applies to those to whom it was given, for its purpose is to keep people from having excuses, and to show that the entire world is guilty before God. ²⁰ For no one can ever be made right with God by doing what the law commands. The law simply shows us how sinful we are.

These awards are NOT going to earn him a spot in Heaven-no one is capable of entering the glory of the Lord on their own accomplishments.  It would be exhausting and depressing because it is IMPOSSIBLE.  Thankfully, God says all we need to do is confess that we are sinners and believe that God is who He says He is.  

Romans 10:9-10 "If you declare with your mouth Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved."

If he had chosen to ignore God calling him to truly believe in Him and change his life around 7 years ago, there would not be this blog post about getting awards.  IT IS ALL GOD!   He is the author and perfecter of our faith.  We want to give Him all the praise.

Ok...just wanted to make sure everyone knew he is not getting a big head or anything. ;)  He is truly humbled and grateful for the awards and all the kind words.  Thank you!  

It was a beautiful evening and made Mickey and I so proud to have graduated from Kirkwood Community College...some people may knock junior colleges but this is a top-notch place and we couldn't have been more impressed with how we were taken care of from a free, amazing hotel room to a delicious dinner, and an impressive, well put together awards program.  

His sister Cari was so sweet to nominate him and arrange for his former Kirkwood baseball coach to present the award.  Thanks so much!  

And my favorite moment of the night was when Mickey says on his video they showed that his best accomplishment at Kirkwood was meeting me!  Coach Lewis said the same thing in his speech and I couldn't agree more.  I may have won a national championship at Kwood, but meeting Mickey was the GREATEST thing about Kirkwood, hands down.  It is a special place indeed to both of us.  

Here are some pics of the event!

Family pic in the room before we headed out!

Of course, Alea loved dressing up, Ev not so much

Our table included: our family of 4, Mickey's parents, sister Cari/brother in law Casey, his grandmother, and my folks!

Coach Lewis

Acceptance speech was short-he was pretty shocked and choked up after Coach Lewis left the stage

The Original 4 Kinzenbaws

Kirkwood President, foundation leader, and other award winners

It was 11 years ago in April that we both knew we were head over heels for each other-
great to be back where it all started!